Her strength amazes me

Resilience

Resilience: what does it mean to you? To me, it is someone who has seen the worst and feels like they’ve been through something undeniably undefeatable, and they still have gotten back up and walked on through the flames of what they believe is the fire. If I had to describe a person with the most resilience in my life, I would look at my mother. And I know this is a cliche because almost everyone wants to say their mother and father are the best people they know, but mine, well, they’ve lived through it from childhood to adulthood and still came out on the other side that’s better than ever.

The path He puts you on

Every kid wants a parent, but my mom had the Baptist children’s home. Now, I can say that the Baptist children’s home raised their kids at that time and time with biblical faith from one end to another. They read their Bibles, they had their silent time, they worked hard, and they had an understanding of what God wanted out of their life. No, I’m not saying that being raised by the church makes you do all the right things as a child and an adult, but when you put God in it, he’s always in the background, even when you’re doing something against him, and it will haunt you until you give it back to him to be on the right path. The path He wants you to be on.

My mother didn’t have a mother telling her right from wrong. She didn’t have a mother there the day she got her first period. She didn’t have a dad waiting for her when she went on her first date. And she didn’t have a sibling to tell all the details of her first everything too. I can’t even imagine not having those things, the simple things that we all tend to take for granted. She didn’t even have a house to come home to. While this may seem a sad way to be raised, I think it has taught my mother how to be the most resilient and caring person I know to this day.

Uphill battles

My father, at 19, had to get a preacher’s note just to date my mother. This wouldn’t be an easy task, but somehow, he managed to do it. They started dating, and not too long after, my mother became pregnant, and she got married because, biblically, that was the right thing to do, and she wouldn’t question it. By the time my mother was 21, she had three babies at home. To this day, she tells me it was only because she prayed to God to teach her how to be a mother, for she knew nothing about what a mother was supposed to be and how to raise children. She tells me that sometimes she remembers finding God to show me what to do, how to be a mom, and how to be a wife. God did exactly that. He showed her and held her through the difficulties of parenting and the ups and downs of marriage, and still, today, 51 years later, my parents are married, and she has good, respectful children Who would do anything for their mother.

The realization 

The first time I realized my mother was the strongest person I’ve ever known, I was seven years old. I can remember it like it was yesterday. We didn’t have a lot. We lived in a two-bedroom, one-bathroom home that we were renting. My brothers and I were outside playing on the swing set. Now, remember, we were like doorsteps in age. My older brother was nine, I was 7, and my younger brother was 5. My mother was inside cooking in the kitchen, and a door to the side looked out to the swing set in the kitchen. She always wanted to have her eyes on us at all times. The next thing I knew, my mother ran outside, grabbed all three of us, ran to the car about 200 feet from the house, put us in the back seat, and told us to sit there as we all did. Neighbors started rushing over, and we saw our house go up in flames, and no, it was not for my mother’s cooking, laugh out loud. The fire started because one of the old-fashioned wall heaters had caught fire. My mother stood at the window of the car and watched that little house burn to the ground with her three children in the back seat, and I remember seeing her cry. Now, please think about this: she was only about 26 years old with three small babies in the car and watching her home burn to the ground, and nothing would be left but what she had in the back seat of the vehicle, and that was enough for her. All I knew was my mother was crying hard and praying, “God be with us and protect us.” When my dad returned home from work, nothing was left but his wife and three small children. 

We went and stayed at my aunt’s house that night, and the following day, we got up and went to look at the house. There was nothing left. I remember my dad saying I believe the silverware was the only thing that didn’t burn. My mom responded that we started with nothing, and now we have three kids in a house. It’s just a house without a family. We have the most important thing: we’re all safe, and we will start over, and that’s just what we did. But I knew deep inside it was killing my young mother because I saw her cry and pray a lot that week.

Things Happen for a reason

Starting over is exactly what we did. What seemed like the end of the world at the moment was actually opening another door, another path that I believe God wanted us to follow. What I realized was that sometimes, the worst things that happen put us where God needs us to be for the next chapter in our lives. My mother got a job at the same plant my father worked at, and we moved three counties over. Well, we would be raised until we all got married and moved away. To this day, my mother will tell you everything happens for a reason, and sometimes you have to trust God even in the worst of times.

10 Things

I will always remember these things, and I learned them from my mom. So, Thank you, mother, for teaching me these things that will stick with me until the day I die.

1. Pray to the Lord with all of your problems and concerns. He will answer, just maybe not in your time frame.
2. Sometimes, the best memories are the ones you least expect to make; sometimes, those good memories come from bad situations.
3. When you think you’re making a mistake, don’t be discouraged. Mistakes are just lessons, and without a lesson, you’re never learning.
4. Be careful who you hang around and who you listen to because you’re a product of your surroundings. Choose your friends wisely because while God is always with you, you may not feel him there because you’re not asking for him to be there. You’re choosing for him to be left out until you let him back in. So be careful; no one’s more important than putting God first.
5. Try to see the kindness in people instead of always looking at the negative as this world does.
6. Remember, there are two sides to every story, and then there’s the truth.
7. God doesn’t negotiate, so don’t try to bend the rules to distinguish right from wrong. He gave us a rule book: the Bible.
8. When you feel unloved and alone by everyone, remember God never stops loving you, so talk to Him.
9. Even when someone seems to have everything in life, trust me, no one is perfect, no one has it all together. They are not Jesus or God.
10. Marriage and parenting will be the most challenging things you ever do. Remember, they’re human too, and while they will hurt you first, practice patience because, in the end, you will be the one they want to talk to on their worst days, even after they have hurt you. And there’s no more significant hurt than when your children or your husbands break your heart from the inside out. Trust me, there will be days you feel like you’re just falling apart from all the hurt. God knows your pain, so trust and pray.