Yes Person
Being a yes person is not part of my makeup. So, is it a flaw when a woman thinks independently and cannot agree with everything a man says just because he’s a man? For me, one of the hardest things in life is to agree with someone just because everybody else is. It’s as if they want to make you have the same opinion as they do no matter what when, typically, isn’t that what our world is made up of different views? Isn’t that what makes it so interesting?
Now, I’ll be the first to tell you that I am not the easiest person to have a good relationship with. My opinions on certain things are extreme, so it is hard to agree with people when they have nothing to back up what they’re saying. I especially find it hard when a man tells a woman how to do something, and it’s not that the woman is doing it wrong. It’s just that he wants it done precisely how he wants it done. If a man takes route A and gets to his end goal, great, and if a woman takes route B and gets to the same goal, what does it matter which route they took? So, here’s the thing: why do men tend to want us to agree and say yes? They want us to tell them it’s OK; I’ll do it your way; I’ll take the route no matter how it makes me feel or how tricky it is for the woman to reach the end goal.
Her way is easier for her:
So why do men typically want to tell a woman how to do it and then turn around and say if you agreed, it would make it better, everything would be fine when the truth is it’s not that a woman disagrees with you? She wants to make things easier on her. For instance, my husband loves to use tie wraps. I like to use wraps that twist and bend super easy. He doesn’t understand why I enjoy using twist-easy wraps. In fact, I can finish four or five things, wrapping something up and going on by the time he finishes the one wrap he started. And honestly, I believe that men’s brains don’t work as quickly as women’s.
Don’t get offended:
I have been around many women. When their husbands tell them to do something, they don’t question it. They do it. It annoys me if a man looks at their wife and says that’s not how it goes. I don’t do it that way. It would help if you did this. This is how it should be done. Yes, if you tell a man this is how it should be done, I would like it done, and you’re the one at the house most of the time doing what needs to be done. Why did they take offense to it? A woman is not supposed to take offense when a man tells her to do something, but a man can take offense when she tells them to do something the way she would like it done, so why is that? In a nutshell, it is because men feel like they are dominant over women. Don’t get me wrong, there are times when men should have control over certain things, but there are also many times when women should have control over things and have the opinion and tell the man how things should be done for her and her well-being because not everything a man tells us may be what is correct or easier for us. Just maybe the man should be more of a yes person in the relationship sometimes.
It’s not all about you:
Truthfully, men want to have some control. So, what happens whenever they get a woman who is not a yes person, who is not a suck-up, and who speaks their mind? Yes, that would be me. If I’ve heard it once, I’ve listened to it one hundred times. My husband will be the first to tell you if I agree with him on everything he says, and I always say yes to his opinion. Our relationship would be great. And it’s not that he’s always wrong. Still, as a woman, it is easier for me to do certain things my way because A: I am short – 5 “1”, B: I am a woman, and I don’t have the strength of a man, and C: the way my brain works does not work like a man most of the time the way I do it is much easier for me so just let me do it my way.
I am who I am:
Most people think that being a yes person in this world is OK for them, and some even believe this is great for their relationships. However, I don’t want to be a yes person because everyone else is. I would not be the person I am without my strong opinions. If you think something may work better if I do things your way only, I will listen to your opinion; however, that does not mean I will take your opinion and be your yes person. So, this is what I’m saying, women. It is OK to have your own opinion. It is OK not to have every man tell you how you need to do something, and in fact, many of us have created careers and extraordinary lives by doing the opposite of what a man tells us to do.
Perfection:
Bob Marley was asked if there was a perfect woman: “Who cares about perfection? Even the moon is not perfect. The sea is incredibly beautiful but salty and dark. The sky is infinite but often cloudy. Everything beautiful isn’t perfect; it’s special. Every woman can be special to someone.”
So, stop trying to make the perfect woman. Stop trying control her in your way, men. No person is perfect, as Bob Marley would say. But love her for her, and the way that she is fully in her strengths.
