Wanting simply
3:00 AM You can’t sleep because the exact phrase goes through your head: that’s me. Compared to so many different things, but luckily, it’s Roger Rabbit. That’s right. My husband has repeatedly told me that my brain and body go ninety to nothing all the time, and he’s tired of my energy level. You are like Roger rabbit from one place to the other in a matter of minutes, trying to finish a task, read something, and get everything done. And he’s tired of it after 19 years of marriage. He wants someone simple; those are his exact words: I want someone simple, someone who does not move as quickly as you, someone who is just settled, who can sit and drink 3 or 4 cups of coffee and relax in the morning. Now, let me break this down for you.
It only takes 2 cups …. And she is off and running.
I am a person who has to have at least two cups of coffee before I get going. The difference is I drink my coffee fast. I have an hour to sit, relax, drink coffee, decompress, and wake up. Then it is off to the gym, off to work the farm in some capacity; start a load of laundry, but you get it I am up and going for the day. And honestly, I’m sure that it is that I have so much energy as I feel like I’m wasting time if I am still sitting after my two cups of coffee. There is a time and place to sit, relax, and just take in the rest of your day, but I do not believe in sitting and relaxing for three or four hours in the morning; I just can’t do that.
Sometimes, you need to decompress your way
I found the older my husband gets, he may only be fifty-three, but he acts like he’s seventy. He wants to drink 3 or 4 cups of coffee and, from 5:00 AM to 10:00 AM, he will sit, watching the news for 2 hours. My day will be well-spent if I’m up moving and doing things by 7:00 AM. I need to physically be doing something. where he believes by him watching the news, responding to an e-mail on his phone, or reading a Magazine on the toilet is time well spent and he believes he is still doing something by doing this. This is him decompressing and relaxing and I understand he needs that.
Understand me, as I am not how you want me to be!
Just yesterday, I finished four things in 2 1/2 hours, and he was just walking out of the door to get his day started. While this irritated me, he just put his finger before me and said stop. This is what I mean. You are going ninety to nothing. Just slow down. And somehow, in that moment, I realized just how different we have grown apart. He honestly does want someone simple, someone who doesn’t work as hard, doesn’t move as fast and doesn’t have things to do. Well, I’m not 70 or 80, yet I feel I should be working and doing things as long as I’m able. The day I stop moving as fast, I will know it. My body will tell me it is time to slow down, so I don’t need someone else to tell me, especially my husband. Why force it? I need understanding, not criticism.
I’m not saying that I never slowed down, but I have a high energy level. I have a routine after I finish everything I do during the day, around 8:00 PM. I faithfully take a hot bath and relax. I see nothing wrong with this. At that time, I genuinely wanted to relax; I did not need to watch what everyone else wanted to watch on TV. I may want to watch what I want to watch or listen to my next audiobook, but I just want to relax. But I am still compared to Roger Rabbit because I’m going ninety to nothing most of the time during a full day. I want to scream at him and say, “the day you have to do as much as a mom, wife, daughter, and farmer, and if you can still find time to relax for four to five hours in the morning, then we can talk.”
Women are just made different
Yes, I am a productive person. I run circles around my husband, and I’m not the only wife that does this. What men fail to understand is that it is built into a woman to do the things and do them in a timely fashion, we are big-time multitaskers, whether it’s dropping the kids off to school, getting them ready for school, working, keeping the house clean, doing all the things that we do as mothers wives and homemakers and still managing to hold a career together. You want to tell me to slow down. We would not be where we are if I slowed down, so maybe after all these years of running around like Roger the Rabbit, you should thank me instead of criticizing me and telling me that I must slow down. Because after all these years, I am realizing that I am the one who needs to say I need someone who fits me instead of someone who wants to change me. I need someone who wants my energy, positivity, appreciation for what is done around me and loves in order to give me the love that I deserve back after working all day. I want someone who appreciates me after the demanding work of being a mother, a counselor to my friends and family, and a caring wife who still needs to find time for herself. Damn it, I just need someone who loves me for me. Maybe they will enjoy Roger Rabbit in me. lol
